Thems is Fightin' Words

An entire generation of trans people are just looking for a fight

I am a (former) transman who transitioned in the early 2000s - a time when trans people were respectful, biology was acknowledged, transwomen would never have considered joining a women’s sports team for obvious reasons, and most of us respected the social responsibilities that come with being transgender. For example, we understood that a transman needed to be legally male and visibly pass as male to be housed in a male college dorm. And even then, it was an unspoken rule that you minded your own business. After all, if transmen are men, why would a transman feel the need to announce to the world that they own a vagina?

Back in my day, trans people wanted to be seen as the gender they transitioned to live as. Most people lived “stealth” because being trans wasn’t part of their identity. It was a process. Trans people - even those who were “out” - just wanted to blend in with society and move on with their lives. Today that’s not the case.

What I see now is an entire generation of trans people who want everyone to know they’re trans out the gate yet become irrationally vitriolic when they don’t get treated as a full-fledged member of the gender they identify as. Many of them expect to be treated as the opposite sex even when they aren’t on hormones and still look 110% like a member of their birth sex. I get it, we all start somewhere and it’s frustrating, but that’s a bit over the top.

Today’s Trans People Are Entitled

Today’s trans people believe that their identity alone means society owes them new pronouns, restroom access, and a host of other privileges not afforded to their birth sex. It’s entitlement to the nth degree.

Ever since the barriers to transition were removed (e.g., you no longer need a medical diagnosis to start hormones and you don’t need to identify or live as a binary gender to get surgery) the so-called “trans community” has become an absolute train wreck that got caught in a dumpster fire.

In my day, being trans was a side note about someone’s life:

“Oh yeah, by the way I’m transgender.”

“Cool, whatevz. Let’s get a pizza.”

Today, being trans is an entire identity wrapped up in a political argument with sharp teeth looking for someone to bite:

“I’m trans and I don’t need your approval and you have no right to know what’s in my pants. Stop obsessing over my body, I’m a human being with feelings, I’m not pretending to be a man, I didn’t choose this life. I’m hotter than you and everyone wants me, just look at my social media comments! And if you don’t want to date me you’re just a transphobic asshole and you can piss off.”

I’m not saying it’s bad to be out and proud of where you came from. Everyone has a story to tell. But what I see happening is something else entirely. I see a generation of trans people who feel entitled to everything they want - even if they don’t actually transition - and threaten suicide if they don’t get it. In my day we called this a tantrum. Today it’s a layer of eggshells everyone walks on while giving the child whatever they want.

Call me a nihilist, but if someone wants to unalive themselves because they can’t get hormones or surgery – let them. When someone enjoys creating their own misery while refusing support from people who care, maybe they’ll be happier in the spirit realm. I learned early on in life that you can’t save everyone, nor should you. I’ve saved people from suicide only to watch them check out years later anyway. Some people are just looking for the door. Let them walk.

Social Media is The Biggest Culprit

So what does social media and what I call the “Digital Tomb” have to do with being transgender? Everything. Absolutely everything.

Most people spend most of their time on social media and confuse it for real life. Trans people are flooding their social media feeds with two types of content:

1. Selfies designed to generate comments that validate their “hotness”

2. Selfies with quotes regarding problems that don’t actually exist just so they can rage against imaginary problems and feel superior

For example, you’ll see lines like:

“I won’t apologize for being trans”

(Has anyone really ever asked someone to apologize for being trans?)

“It’s weird how people obsess over our bodies”

(Transguys love posting this caption overlaid onto ‘“thirst trap” selfies taken in compromising positions, shirtless, flexing, and in sexy poses. If they don’t want anyone to focus on their body, why are they posting these photos? Nobody’s actually obsessed with trans people’s bodies. That’s not the conversation being had. The conversation about trans people’s bodies revolves around concern for the thousands of teenagers who regret surgery and realize they were conditioned/pushed to transition.)

“You have no right to ask what’s in my pants”

(In 44 years on this planet I have yet to witness anyone ask someone what’s in their pants. Nobody’s ever asked me this question. And I’m pretty sure most people already know what’s in your pants when you’re trans because… biology.)

“Being topless after surgery isn’t a protest”

(Did anyone ever say transmen are protesting something by going topless after chest surgery? I’m pretty sure that’s a no. What would you be protesting anyway?)

All of these lines present a fabricated situation that never happened all to prop up and justify the rage that follows. They post these lines and then rage about it as if they’re responding to real situations. In reality, most trans people have never experienced the situations (mostly memes) they’re raging against. And the ones who have? It’s completely online. Every single social media post they make is a response to an online comment made by a keyboard warrior hiding behind a screen.

Other than a talk show or news segment, show me a live interaction between a transgender person and a so-called “hater” that depicts just one of these fabricated statements trans people use to play the victim. I’ll wait.

Social Media is Not Real Life

People today live their lives entirely online. They go online, read nasty comments, post nasty responses, and continue to comment about their life as if these things are happening in the real world. But in the real world, nothing is happening. People are getting along. Groups of friends are hanging out. The only place that’s a cesspool of garbage is social media. There will always be protestors at events like Pride, but the people starting the fights are trans people. And they’re basing their entire worldview on social media interactions.

I still remember when society made the shift to words being violence, where university students demanded tangible consequences for spoken words that would normally only be administered for physical violence.

Social media is why so many trans people mistakenly believe they are hated and discriminated against and there is some giant war to fight. I assure you, the war is only in people’s minds. And the way trans people come at the world right out the gate with these defensive posts is what’s causing the keyboard warriors to spew hate in the first place.

Social media is pure poison. It creates a false sense of belonging where people come together over what they hate, which never ends well. They live inside these virtual bubbles and call it “community” and “friendship.” And when they say, “I get so much hate for being transgender” what they mean is, “So many strangers keep posting mean comments on my social media posts.”

I’ve Never Had Problems With People Over Being Trans

I’ve had many discussions with the current generation of trans people and they always get mad when I point out that I’ve never had a bad experience with being trans in 25 years. People have never hated me for it and I’ve never been in danger. People don’t even care. They tell me it’s wonderful that I never had any problems, but trans people today are in serious danger. Really? I only see them creating their own problems. There’s a reason I never had any problems with people. And it’s not luck.

And yeah, there were exactly two times when I experienced someone who didn’t approve. A guy who was interested in me disappeared when I transitioned (completely understandable), and one customer at my drive-thru coffee job expressed her upset that I was no longer the “pretty girl” she knew. But there was never any anger, disrespect, hate, or anything negative directed at me. If people don’t like me it’s because I’m a heretic who rocks society’s boat as hard as possible - not because I’m trans.

What’s that saying about “go touch grass?”

Why Are Trans People Always So Damn Negative?

If trans people stopped being perpetual victims and posted social media content that was truly uplifting, supportive, authentic, and provided value to the world, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Most don’t. They post bait for keyboard warriors. Instead of contributing to society they’re unleashing years of pent-up rage for their struggles and pinning it on society. They’re like lost rebels looking for the next fight.

I transitioned 25 years ago and I’ve never not had human rights. I’ve never needed 800 laws to protect me. I also understand that I’m not the only human being on this planet and living on Earth (whatever that means) requires cooperating with others to a certain degree.

I think there are many factors involved in what went wrong here. Eliminating the barriers to medical transition and legally changing your sex marker was just the start. Self-identification and the elimination of needing a medical diagnosis was part of it. But we went past the point of no return when trans people started living their lives entirely online, believing that what happens in the comment section is real life.

I’m not sure there’s any hope for recovery. And while I’ve never been supportive of censorship, seeing all this play out makes me a firm supporter of requiring ID to use the internet and banning minors from using social media. Because social media is where these kids are growing up, and it’s poisoning their minds. Whether or not you agree with people transitioning in the first place, one thing I think most can agree on is the toxic influence of social media on minors. It’s toxic for everyone but I firmly believe that if minors were unable to access social media, most would grow up to be happy, healthy adults who contribute positively to society - trans or not.